Creating a new normal

I have been experiencing, over the past few weeks, an expectant feeling of returning to normal or the old routine. I now have gotten my brain wrapped around the realization that I can never go there again. It is quite overwhelming and I find myself in denial quite often. Surely, this will pass and I will have that old comfortable feeling again. It is becoming clearer with time that I need to create a new normal. I think that won't be something that I can get a paper and pen out and figure out with lists. I think that I just have to keep getting up each day and go through it and see what happens. It takes patience. That is one of the things that I pray daily for...that and courage. Tom and I leaned on each other for forty years. I am feeling a little off balance.



I am currently in Seattle, WA with my dear friends John and Mary Jane Currier. John was the Coast Guard Officer that spoke so beautifully at the memorial/military part of Tom's funeral across from the church. They live on Puget Sound. I have been here for five days and it truly has been a healing experience. I sit on their porch and look out over the water at snow covered mountains and a huge expanse of blue sky. There is a lazy parade of barges, sail boats, and ferries. I saw some seals the other day. Mary Jane spotted a pod of orka whales last week. I finally have the opportunity to clear my mind and fill it with memories of my life withTom. All of the thank-you cards are done. Bank, State of Michigan and DK Security paperwork is complete. Pam and other relatives are keeping up with things on the farm. I have no obligations. I thought I would crack under the lack of pressure. It has been a way of life for going on a year. But I am doing well.



I have had time to think about the blessing of having caring friends and family. I don't know how people do it without such support. It has made me step back and think how I can be of greater support to others. You all continue to be an inspiration to me. Love, Linda